Life Under an Aspiring Dictator

These are the impacts my nuclear family and first degree relatives might face if Trump's proposals go forward.

• I have a child on an IEP, meaning, they receive additional services at school to support needs related to their disabilities. If the Department of Education is eliminated, the funding for those services goes away.  We can hope that someone else decides to fund it, but even a temporary disruption in services could be damaging.  The more a child falls behind their peers, the harder it is for them to catch up, and this is especially true when they are disabled and already have a steeper ladder to climb.

• I also have a child who will soon be graduating high school.  Changes in funding may increase the already staggering cost of college and that has added significantly to the stress of this transition.  We want to be able to plan wisely for their future, but it's hard to plan when the future appears so unpredictable.

• One of our kids is gay and nonbinary.  Those in their community have been repeatedly attacked by this administration.  Trump's assertion that nonbinary people don't exist and the ripple effects that has through society pose threats to their autonomy, wellbeing and mental health and increase the risk that they or people close to them could become victims of hate related crimes.  I also worry about whether they will still retain the right to marry, should they someday choose that path.

• I'm Autistic, as are some of my family members.  Trump has issued an executive order referring to Autism as "a dire threat to the American people and our way of life."  This language is incredibly insulting.  He claims that Autism rates are exploding and supports this idea with false numbers, but this assertion only uncovers his blatant ignorance to the fact diagnostic criteria have changed significantly over the years, making far more people eligible for diagnosis.  He also fails to recognize the fact that increased awareness has led more people to seek support, again, leading to more diagnoses.  Any real increase in prevalence is most likely small.  He insists that we must probe harder for a link between Autism and vaccines, despite the harms caused by this myth and the wealth of research that has already disproven it.  Bringing Autism into the spotlight is great, but doing so in such a negative way will only fuel discrimination against Autistic people by framing our existence as representing something more threatening than deadly diseases.  

• One of our kids could potentially be drafted into war if Trump decides to invade Canada or Greenland, if his threats of ethnic cleansing in Gaza lead to retaliation, or if he continues to escalate his already erratic and threatening behavior towards other countries. 

• Trump and RFK have plans to investigate the damage posed by medications that treat symptoms associated with mental illnesses and developmental conditions in children.  The focus on risks without a parallel interest in benefits poses a concern that such medications could be banned or funding refused, first in children and then possibly in adults.  I have family member who require consistent treatment for schizophrenia and ADHD, and others (myself included) who have at times needed medication to cope with serious anxiety and depression.  These are choices we make with awareness of the risks involved because we are intimately aware of the risks of going unmedicated when our conditions warrant the need, and they are significant. 

• I have family members on Medicaid and Medicare.  Those on Medicaid have serious, chronic conditions that could pose a risk to their lives if they didn't receive the necessary treatment.

• I have a family member who is unable to work due to the impact of their schizophrenia.  They receive housing assistance, which is also under threat.

• I'm scared that soon we will not have a Democracy.  Many of Trump's orders are illegal and attempt to steal the power of Congress and make it his own, and likewise, he refuses to honor the power of the courts.  In such situations, where the Constitution is being so blatantly and illegally betrayed, it falls upon Congress to move forward with impeachment, yet, party loyalty seems to know no bounds, and it seems clear they will have his back no matter what.  This is truly unprecedented in our country's history.  Our system of government is meant to protect against the rise of dictators, but it only works if people follow the laws and guidelines set out by the Constitution.  I fear for how many of my children's rights will be taken away if people don't decide to fight back.

• I have lost my sense of safety.  It truly scares me that people are allowing these things to happen.  Time and time again, people are being asked to cross over their moral lines for the sake of loyalty, and they are repeatedly showing a willingness to do so.  I have very little faith that these same people would come to our rescue if we were locked away in camps or shot in the streets for protesting.  Many people would say this is alarmist and it would never happen.  But, we have a president who has befriended Putin, threatened to use military force against peaceful countries to take their land, embraced political violence, freed men who beat police officers and dehumanized many of us with his rhetoric, and people have let him.  And then there is Guantanamo Bay and the threat of shipping people to prisons overseas.  Who will be sent there and who will have eyes in those faraway, isolated places to see that their rights are respected?  I hope our worst fears will not come into being, and maybe they won't, but I feel the need to be on alert.  Our family consists of what he would call "radical leftists", gay, nonbinary, mentally ill and developmentally disabled individuals.  We wouldn't be the first to disappear, but we wouldn't be the last, either.

This is just how it could impact us, and it's it's just the start.  We will, like most people, be effected by the rising costs associated with tariffs.  Our jobs will become less secure.  So many things we take for granted are at risk.  Yet, we are some of the lucky ones.  At least I can send my kids to school without worrying that ICE will come in and take them.  My husband volunteers helping to provide low income housing to members of our community.  They now have to grapple with the possibility that funding could be pulled away and would somehow need to be replaced (how, they don't know), or the residents, many of them seniors, could be forced out.  Do they have places to go?  And what happens to them if they don't?

I tell myself that as scary as all of this is, at least my family can lean on one another for support as times get harder.  Not everyone has that.

We're not that unique.  Families across the country are feeling this.  I'm tired of being scared and angry, but I also don't dare let down my guard, and I refuse to become complacent.  I have realized that I would sooner die than submit to this evil.  

I used to wonder, if someone held a gun to my head and demanded I join them in committing heinous acts, would I resist or would I cower and submit?  I used to question how someone could truly know the answer without living that experience.  But, one thing this time has taught me is that I would die before I would join them.  It isn't that I consider myself to be brave or morally pure, but what I am is angry.  I am so incredible livid that people in power would choose to harm the most vulnerable members of our society simply because they can, and I have come to know in the core of my being that sometimes, anger alone is enough.

So, here's hoping that it doesn't come to that.