Thoughts on Death

 

Today we found ourselves looking out upon the Baptism River. Along its banks, cedar trees clung to the mottled rock with twisted roots. Below, the water was dark as obsidian and smooth as satin, its surface a mirror of loveliness. Were we to fall in, it would swiftly swallow us into its blackness. Nature has a way of reminding us of this simple truth; that life and death are entwined, and we cannot have one without the other.

The last leaves of Autumn fluttered from branches and their saffron hues glowed radiant amidst the beams of sunlight, as if to declare in their dying breaths that they had seen the light and that Heaven was indeed prepared to welcome them into another life.

I don't believe in Heaven, but I believe in the wonder of all that exists in this world. I believe in its ceaseless beauty, and I feel a sense of awe, knowing that we are each a part of that.

When I die, the water that flows through my veins will become the rain. From the rain, trees will grow, filling the forest with the splendid scents of fir and pine. Beneath their canopy of branches, squirrels and birds and foxes will seek shelter. Fungi and lichen will unfurl like lace. Even when I'm gone, I will be there, nurturing a new generation of life. We all will. Someday, billions of years from now, the elements that have forged us will reshape themselves yet again, giving rise to forms of life that even our imaginations cannot conjure.

In life, some seek to give more than they take, while others seek to take move than they give. In death, we give ourselves fully over to this great land and free it to do with us what it will. There is grief in that, but there is also beauty.

This, I think, is God. Not an all powerful man, but an all encompassing splendor that seeks to unite us all, different as we may be, with this greater sense of glory. If I were to be baptized, I would surrender myself to this.